Messages of support for CHIMP
Here follows a selection of
messages on support of
Thank You for such a kindly intervention into footballs inhumanity to apprentices. We have all seen the effects of this genetic barbarism on a young primate. Yes it is true, he was in fact a beast of the trees to begin with, not as you thought, a humanoid.
The 'Highbury injections' gave him the
ability to utter a few banal adjectives and wave his arms continually at
referees who he mistook as his tormentors and creators, (due to their
strange appearance, in common to Highbury personnel).
You must not let my work go down the
Whilst we all feel that is of the utmost importance to keep baboons off the bench, gibbons away from the goalposts and primates off the pitch, I feel that smelly mammalian quadrupeds have been overlooked. Remember, "We don' need no stinking Badgers !"
Chimp must be saved.
"Personally, I think Anne 'The
Sphinx' Robinson must be the most repulsive and obnoxious person ever to
set foot on earth. She has no redeeming features. She is seriously ugly
and if the BBC does as it should and she is sacked, she could start a new
career advertising shaving blades for men. She is Darwin's missing link. I
call upon the BBC to rid the nation of this ugly, offensive sphinx. If
they don't, I will call upon all Welsh people to boycott the BBC, who
would then prove themselves to be supporting racism" - Cardiff City
chairman Sam Hammam on the club's official homepage.
I will donate all my profits from my
peanut farms to your campaign!
You pay peanuts, you get ...
Frankly I'm disgusted. How can you
compare this fine specimen to a chimp. I may be in Barcelona now but
just measure the height of my forehead. I think you'll find the
Keown primate has met his match.
I tried to measure it at the weekend but
its so big I cannot reach. I would ask my mate Petit the primate but
he's bogged off to Chelsea. When have the next international I'll ask
Bergkamp the Baboon to give a hand with the vernier caliper and get some
really good measurements for you.
Just to let you know I bumped into Arsene the Anthropod today. Apparently he's out here checking out the youth policy, and possibly watching some junior football too! He did give me a quick hand with the calipers and my forehead is well over 3 weeks high, pretty impressive you'll agree.
Can you send some plasters as my
knuckles are sore?
Did Chimp star in the Hollywood blockbuster "Jerry Maguire" ?? Only I could have sworn I heard someone shouting "Show Me The Monkey, Show Me The Monkey !!"
We fully support your campaign, and we
are most honoured to know that "chimp" has all our CD's.
That Overmars should stick to going to going to work on the marmite motorway ! Enclosed a photo of my latest girlfriend (right), match that Marc.
Martin Keown (Save Chimp)
Monkey !! We need more television !!
Happy Birthday Chimp ! 35 Today !
Hope you received my telegram.
We can now confirm that we have stocks
of "red" boot polish.
Chimp is a professional footballer.
That should cause a bit of a stir in the name of satire.
Did anyone catch the comment by the gray man in charge of a big South Coast Premier league club when he said ...
"Glenn Hoddle is not a monkey on my back."
Good news for all Chimp fans there !!
I have never thought of it this way, but if I did a merging of two of my most famous volumes "The Naked Ape" and "The Football Tribe", I would probably have come to the same conclusions as your good selves.
You know that I believe what is going on ...
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