Messages of support for CHIMP

Here follows a selection of messages on support of 
our SAVE CHIMP campaign.

12.6.2001

Thank You for such a kindly intervention into footballs inhumanity to apprentices. We have all seen the effects of this genetic barbarism on a young primate. Yes it is true, he was in fact a beast of the trees to begin with, not as you thought, a humanoid. 

The 'Highbury injections' gave him the ability to utter a few banal adjectives and wave his arms continually at referees who he mistook as his tormentors and creators, (due to their strange appearance, in common to Highbury personnel).

We must return him to the wilds of the Congo where he can while away his days picking his anal scabs in the deep undergrowth for which he was pre destined, rather than the traumas inflicted on him by the roar and amusement of football loving crowds.

Bless you for your humanity

WhitehartN17

14.6.2001

You must not let my work go down the drain !
Mr. Darwin

14.6.2001

Whilst we all feel that is of the utmost importance to keep baboons off the bench, gibbons away from the goalposts and primates off the pitch, I feel that smelly mammalian quadrupeds have been overlooked.  Remember, "We don' need no stinking Badgers !"

 
Regards, 
Andre Aghastly
18.6.2001

Chimp must be saved.

He has a unique acting talent. Remember him with me in 'Gorillas In The Mist'.

Help him for the sake of Diane Fossey's hard work.

Yours,

Sigorney Weaver.

9.3.2001

"Personally, I think Anne 'The Sphinx' Robinson must be the most repulsive and obnoxious person ever to set foot on earth. She has no redeeming features. She is seriously ugly and if the BBC does as it should and she is sacked, she could start a new career advertising shaving blades for men. She is Darwin's missing link. I call upon the BBC to rid the nation of this ugly, offensive sphinx. If they don't, I will call upon all Welsh people to boycott the BBC, who would then prove themselves to be supporting racism" - Cardiff City chairman Sam Hammam on the club's official homepage.

(Ed : -  I think he may have got the wrong end of the stick here)

22.6.2001

I will donate all my profits from my peanut farms to your campaign!

Percy Dalton

3.7.2001

You pay peanuts, you get ...

Percy Dalton

13.7.2001

Frankly I'm disgusted. How can you compare this fine specimen to a chimp.  I may be in Barcelona now but just measure the height of my forehead.  I think you'll find the Keown primate has met his match.

Marc (the missing link) Overmars

PS  Why didn't Sol check out the night life out here there's loads of uphill gardening

17.7.2001

I tried to measure it at the weekend but its so big I cannot reach.  I would ask my mate Petit the primate but he's bogged off to Chelsea. When have the next international I'll ask Bergkamp the Baboon to give a hand with the vernier caliper and get some really good measurements for you.

Hugs and kisses Marc form Barcelona.

18.7.2001

Just to let you know I bumped into Arsene the Anthropod today. Apparently he's out here checking out the youth policy, and possibly watching some junior football too! He did give me a quick hand with the calipers and my forehead is well over 3 weeks high, pretty impressive you'll agree. 

Can you send some plasters as my knuckles are sore?

Humps & Bumps

Marc from Barcelona

20.7.2001

Did Chimp star in the Hollywood blockbuster "Jerry Maguire" ??  Only I could have sworn I heard someone shouting "Show Me The Monkey, Show Me The Monkey !!"

Barry Norman

22.7.2001

We fully support your campaign, and we are most honoured to know that "chimp" has all our CD's.

THE JUNGLE BROTHERS

22.7.2001
That Overmars should stick to going to going to work on the marmite motorway !  Enclosed a photo of my latest girlfriend (right), match that Marc.
 
Martin Keown (Save Chimp)

 

23.7.2001

Monkey !!  We need more television !!

Johnny Vegas

24.7.2001

Happy Birthday Chimp !  35 Today !  Hope you received my telegram.

Elizabeth Windsor

24.7.2001

We can now confirm that we have stocks of "red" boot polish.

Kiwi Shoe Polish co.

29.7.2001

Chimp is a professional footballer.

That should cause a bit of a stir in the name of satire.

Chris Morris

30.7.2001

Did anyone catch the comment by the gray man in charge of a big South Coast Premier league club when he said ...

"Glenn Hoddle is not a monkey on my back."

Good news for all Chimp fans there !!

Johnny Morris

30.7.2001

I have never thought of it this way, but if I did a merging of two of my most famous volumes "The Naked Ape" and "The Football Tribe", I would probably have come to the same conclusions as your good selves.

Desmond Morris

8.9.2001

You know that I believe what is going on ...

Conspiracy Monkey

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